Observations, true statements and complaints
#1. Strep throat sucks.
#2. Mixing salt water, lime juice and apple cider vinegar and gargling it helps your throat feel better but it tastes exactly like when you puke from drinking too many margaritas on an empty stomach.
#3. Waking up with snot in your mustache is awful.
#4. Running a high fever for a full day yields some interesting results. I weeded the yard in my underwear and hallucinated that the Russian lady from Orange is the New Black was giving me home remedies.
#5. I woke up from a dead sleep at 2 this morning to the sounds of sirens blaring down my street. My first waking thought was “oh God, I’m patient zero of a new deadly terrible disease and they’re coming to take me away.”
#6. I’m so fucking bored.
#7. I’m too sick to go get myself a burrito which is all I want.
#8. I’m out of cough drops.
#9. I haven’t washed my hair in five days because fuck it I ain’t got nobody to impress.
#10. My multi-vitamins are too large for me to swallow which is a serious bummer.